“As you ask me about the colour of my skin, I do not wonder if I’m black enough. I know who I am, I know my story. You ask in different ways, “You’ve got a bit of something in you, don’t you?” or “How much Aboriginal are you?” I joke by saying just my arm or my leg…but the true answer is, it is in my DNA. My mother’s family are Aboriginal, and my father’s family are Scottish – it explains my fair skin. It too is in my DNA. My Aboriginality does not define me, but it is a strong part of my identity. My family story starts with tragedy then continues with positiivty. But am I black enough for you?
Both of my Aboriginal grandparents grew up on missions and were granted permission to leave, settle in a town, marry and raise a family. My grandfather died prematurely from a heart attack leaving my grandmother with 8 children. My grandmother had a boyfriend a few years later and she was murdered as a result of domestic violence. I never got to meet my grandparents, Heart disease and domestic violence are part of Aboriginal life since colonisation – am I black enough?
Within a week of my grandmother’s murder my own parents were married. My mum and her seven siblings were raised amongst themselves also raising their own young children, my cousins. My aunts and uncles struggled with social disadvantage, not being able to actively practice their culture and subject to discrimination. You ask my mum though- shes says she had a good life with nothing to complain about. This positivity and determination of my family/ my people continues – black enough yet?
A family member committed a murder and then took their own life by suicide. Alcoholism, mental illness and domestic violence rear their ugly head again. The struggle continues to overcome that social disadvantage. Alcoholism, unemployment, incarceration, mental health issues, suicide, domestic violence, heart disease and diabetes still plague my family. How do you ever catch up when everyone else has had such a big head start? Still not black enough?
My siblings and my cousins have gone on to become parents, educators, business owners, professional athletes, lawyers, police officers, authors, public servants and more. A common strength of Aboriginal people is how we draw upon our family and community to overcome adversity and hardship. Our need for connectedness, to be role models and demonstrate leadership to contribute to positive change is how we develop resilience and break the cycle. Our past will not define us, it only makes us stronger. Am I black enough now?
The struggles still continue, and there is still a long way to go, but I see how far we’ve come. I see my Aboriginality not in relation to the disadvantage we have suffered but the strength my people show, and continue to show, in creating a better future. So, as you ask me about the colour of my skin, my Aboriginality is in my DNA. I may not look black enough for you, I know who I am, now you do too.”
Source: Davina and Janelle
